I got to the trail head and almost didn't want to get out of the car. It was just so peaceful, pretty and cozy, alone in my car with the music cranking. What if I just chilled here and read a book for a few hours? I used to always plan a snowboarding trip or high peak ascent for my birthday. Once Hunter and Rider came along my needs changed. I still want to be in the woods but I'd rather chill right now. So for my birthday hike this year I set my sights on something smaller and closer to home.
The music made it especially hard to walk away from my warm den. I've been working my way slowly through the Grateful Dead's legendary Europe 72 tour (again) and happened to land on 5/11/72 (check out the gorgeous Jay Ashley Bertha remaster) starting at the Dark Star segment for the drive up. The Dark Star itself contains multitudes. Its an entire human lifetime, expressed musically, clocking in at over 45 minutes. I was lost in joy and beauty as I puttered through Johnstown and up north into Caroga Lake.
Having kids has completely changed how I experience nature. I'll admit it, in the before times I got pretty addicted to going bigger/ faster/ farther in the woods. I always paid a lot of lip service to the whole connecting with nature thing but was rarely satisfied just being there if I wasn't pushing myself. I really want my boys to connect with nature. I don't want it to have to be on the terms I connected on. So when we go outdoors together its rarely with an ambitious itinerary. Sometimes the best days we have out in nature we stay in sight of the car. Getting to know a stream, looking for salamanders, experiencing being content when rain is falling, or the wind howls around us.
I spent the first 10 years of my hiking hobby working to go faster. I'm beginning to think I should spend the next 10 learning to slow down.
When I started hiking, I found the Adirondack High Peaks forum to be a wonderful resource. Not only did I learn a ton from the discussions, I also connected with other hikers. There was an ongoing dinner/ drinks meet up for Capital District area high peaks hikers I attended several times that was organized on the forum. I met a bunch of wonderful people, including Alan Via. Alan is a legendary hiker, with his name on the roster of all the northeast hiking challenges. He's the authority on the Catskill hundred highest, having written the guide book and climbed the peaks many times. He's also a doghiker extraordinaire, publishing a wonderful guide book (check it out here!) on the subject in 2019. He helped me so much while I climbed the 46 with our German Shepherd Koda. Barbara, his wife, is a wonderful artist and did a watercolor of a white throated sparrow Jeanette and I absolutely cherish. I decided to climb Kane based on Alan's recommendation and to follow the loop route he touts in Doghiker.
The large parking lot was empty so I cranked up the tunes a bit and got my boots and layers on at a leisurely pace while The Grateful Dead blazed through Caution (Do Not Stop on the Tracks) with Pigpen delivering his rap with all the fire and swagger. I took the time to eat my breakfast, read through the guidebook again and get centered. I was finally ready to step out.
Entering the woods that morning was like transporting to another dimension. It was silent. A silence so complete it was deafening. Something so absent from my day to day life right now. It was surreal. All I heard was the crunching of my boots in the snow and my breath. At first I had to stop completely and allow the pulse to stop beating in my ears in order to hear anything at all. What I did hear was the merest whisper of wind higher up on the slope of the mountain. The next time I paused there wasn't even any wind. After about a minute I heard the distant caw of a crow. I chugged a long a while longer, getting a good deal of the elevation change behind me, before stopping again. Now on top of the ridge I enjoyed hearing the low booming bass of a woodpecker whamming away at a hollow tree.
As my brain adjusted to my surroundings I kept noticing branches and trees bending with the exact same arc along and over the trail. I felt a little crazy or like I was bending lines to fit my narrative but I really feel like what I was seeing was real and sort of odd. The way patterns in nature spiral or branch, repeat and dissolve reminded me of the way the Grateful Dead enter and explore the vast territories of Dark Star. Then I began seeing incredibly delicate spikes and needles of ice and the Dark Star/ Nature connection intensified.
Lost in a revery of nature, internal music and external silence, I stumbled out into the clearing at the base of the fire tower. It was a lot taller than I expected LOL. The delicate pin and needle constellations of rime ice that had coated the trees along the the trail, climbed up the tower. I slowly sauntered up the steps taking in the intensely calm input data. Contour lines, waves of trees, undulating lake shores, lines of winding roads, the right angles of buildings. The ice crystals clung to any surface they could. The girders, the handrails, the fencing and steps. I tried not to disturb this frozen cathedral.
The day was gray, with shrouds of mist accentuating, rather than taking away from, the beauty of the world around me. I spiraled up the icy steps until I emerged into the tower cab. I was greeted with ice-framed views of the seemingly endless unfolding of lakes, ponds, hills and peaks. The more I looked the more I saw. I lingered. Which I don't get to do nearly enough. I paced around the cab scanning the landscape. I've never hiked in this area so everything was new. The ice formations coated the inside and outside of the fire tower. They were impossibly delicate yet almost sinister looking. Like some sort of rare and dangerous crystal. I sopped in the quiet stillness for a good while and then did the unthinkable: I turned the Dead show back on just in time for Truckin'. I rocked out. I played air guitar. I sang loudly off key. Its trashy but I just had to violate the sanctity of the moment to let out my joyous YAWP.
I took my time climbing down the icy steps and then went and checked out the old caretaker's cabin. The way down to the lot was a happy blur. Saw people for the first time that day which shook me out of the forest revery a bit. It only took me about 2 hours round trip and I thought I dawdled and lingered plenty. It was such a treat to just have a nice relaxing hike. Too many times since I've had kids, I've tried to cram a really big hike into whatever free time I had available to me. So I'd come out of what was supposed to be a restorative outing pretty drained Especially since my overall fitness levels are down from my most active hiking period. Kane was a great success and I really reaped the benefits of slowing down.
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